The 4 Things to do When You Encounter Difficulty
- Elijah Nisenboim
Molehill mountain is a loving phrase I use to describe the process of slowing down when we encounter difficulty to avoid feelings, conflicts, responsibility or loss. The phrase “making a mountain out of a molehill” is something I am guilty of. I have been accused of being stubborn for staying on a subject long after another other person wants to talk about it. I am not suggesting that I stay there longer than necessary but here’s what I used to do; When someone would tell me “not to be upset” or “don’t worry about it” I would agree to discard what I was perceiving and feeling, unintentionally discrediting what my inner world was telling me was out of order. I am not saying my perception was right but that I was discrediting the value of my exploration. I realized later that my awareness, intuition or gut response was a non-mental part of me telling me that something wasn’t right. Now, I stop to encounter difficulty/the molehill like someone putting a microscope on something small and making it much bigger. When someone doesn’t want me to, I know that I am probably onto something. When I slow down, I feel a lot safer and happier regardless of how others feel about it and the people close to me are never offended if I ask for the time to climb up molehill mountain.
I realized later that my awareness, intuition or gut response was a non-mental part of me telling me that something wasn’t right.
There is an ironic consequence of slowing down for the small thing that is bothering you. You will actually find it much easier to let go of small things that used to bother you. We get bothered by small inconsequential things because we don’t want to look at the things that might turn our life or our relationships over. Slow down to encounter difficulty, fully. When you slow down for the feeling you will find an essence which is your soul’s need to express itself; it’s perfection through you.
Everything is an opportunity… if you want it to be. So when you stop for the details and go in you are doing spiritual work. In a year like we just had this is the way out of suffering. Do you know anyone who said “nothing important has happened to me in the last year?”. Probably not. The question I have for you is what is the value of the extraordinary challenges we have faced personally and collectively? If you can see the value in the problem then you are never in a hurry to get out of it because the problem is where all of your personal power lies. Think about it, if you are not in a hurry, impatient or trying to avoid anything then nothing can shake you. Don’t you want that all day, every day? If so, then slow down for the problem because it has the answer to being peaceful – all the time.
When you are someone who is on a personal growth path then everything that happens in your life can be of value. Your task is to convert the problems into fuel that moves you forward. To convert problems into fuel you will need to slow down and transform one into the other. This is challenging in a world where we are adjusted to wanting and getting things without delay. Working to earn qualities like patience, wisdom and acceptance takes you slowing down and valuing your irritations and disturbances. We have become accustomed to wanting experiences to be over, to be impatient, needing to be continually entertained and unable to find meaning in experiences that cause suffering.
Slow down to encounter difficulty, fully.
Here are the four opportunities you can look for when you encounter difficulty :
YOUR LIFE HAS PURPOSE
Say to yourself “My life has a purpose. In this moment I am looking for the value of this situation to help me fulfill it”
You were given life the moment you took your first breath. Encoded in your programming is the opportunity to experience fulfillment, joy, exaltation and purpose. We all take the same breath, we are given the same opportunity to find the connection between our breath and our creator. We are all equal and we are all equal in our opportunity to fulfill our purpose.
Value your experiences and see them as opportunities and a vehicle to fulfill your life’s purpose.
YOUR EXPERIENCES ARE COMPOST NOT GARBAGE
Remind yourself that your experiences no matter how challenging or painful are not garbage.
Waste can’t be reused. It sits and rots creating stagnation and disease without ever transforming into something else. Believe it or not the worst experiences can become the material of your superpower.
Those childhood wounds actually are the fuel to finding your power. From being silenced as a child to becoming a potent communicator. From being abused to becoming someone who teaches the value of respect and kindness. Any situation contains compost-able material that you need to grow the garden of your life.
SLOW DOWN FOR THE PROBLEM
Climb Molehill Mountain. Slow down. It can only bring a different perception. You are always learning.
Often when we are confused, having trouble learning, are in potential conflict or feeling unsafe we speed up, ignore, avoid and change our perception in the hopes of becoming safe. If all problems have some function in the fulfillment of your life’s purpose then your discomfort is spiritual indigestion. You need to slow down and process what’s happening so you can find out the value of its presence in your life.
When people tell you not to feel the way you are feeling you have to turn in and find out what’s true for you. When you are feeling unsafe you have to look to the problem for the solution by asking yourself what will actually calm the feeling you have inside and to look for something empowering to you. You are not looking just for an external answer like money, love, food or sex. When others don’t seem to be validating your perceptions, valuing your time or respecting your boundaries, don’t ignore it, make a mountain out of a molehill.
EMPTY OUT
It’s ok to lose something on the way to receiving something better. Even climbing molehill mountains end up placing you in conflict or losing friends, what wants to come to you needs you to be available to receive. Emptying out is a way of making room. If you are in the wrong relationships, dynamics or daily rhythm you are inadvertently blocking flow.
When you slow down, the first place to put your attention is on your breath. Don’t go to your thoughts, go to your breath. Let yourself have twenty breaths slow and full and then ask yourself how can I make compost out of this situation, how can I allow the problem to arise in me in its fullness and then ask “what is this for and how can I learn from this?
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