Working with people on their personal growth is about the power of giving insight and feedback according to what someone says they need help with. It’s not like giving an opinion. Unlike family and friends, I am responsible for what I say to you, what its influence is and tracking it the next time we connect again. I don’t do this in my personal life because I don’t take unsolicited feedback. I also don’t give it. If someone gives their opinion to me about me and I didn’t ask, my first thought is to question their motivation. Opinions about other people come from one of two places. The heart or the ego. You can feel the difference. Even someone thinking they are helping you by telling you something that you should or shouldn’t do, or did or didn’t do, is ego if you didn’t ask them. If it doesn’t make you feel like it is encouraging in some way, my advice is to ignore it. Our life begins with people telling us what is right and wrong. Rarely do adults encourage children to self-reflect, so it’s natural that we grow up thinking our opinion is important and that we should tell others what it is. If someone starts to tell me something that I didn’t ask for, I will stop them and say “why are you telling me this?” Usually it is rattling to them that I have interrupted the flow of their unconscious pattern. From there, they usually stop. If you give me an opinion, you must have a reason for it. That’s what I’m interested in. It lets me know what you want. Sometimes opinions come because someone thinks they are helping you. More often, it’s because you are touching something in them that connects to their unresolved trauma. It makes them feel like their life is out of order. If they can put YOU in order, they feel better about themselves. Trauma has two adverse side effects: •One is wrong perception. •The other is to be feeling avoidant. Most people will do anything to get out of feeling their feelings and that is often why they give “advice” to try to get others to change. They don’t believe they can change so it’s easier to “help” others change. True freedom means accepting others being who they are. Learn how to live in relation to people as they are. This will put you in touch more deeply into your own feelings. The most direct way to do this is through Effiji Breathwork so you can clear trauma from your field and from your physical movement. When you are clear, connected to Spirit, and grounded and centered, it’s like being a tall tree with deep roots: when the wind blows, nothing happens to you. |
