You create your own reality.
For real, you do. You create your reality. Every single thing belongs to you. From the a-hole that doesn’t put his cart away after he grocery shops (that a-hole is me, btw) to the person that tells you ‘I love you’ every night. It belongs to you. Your world IS you.
This can be the most liberating and devastating realization when you’re trying to do better and your circumstances, frankly, blow.
To show you how this looks, I’m going to use myself as an example:
I have tenants that I share space with in my home. This last weekend, one of my tenants gave me some real trouble.
I’d had a conversation with her earlier in the week about a few household things and a personal issue I was having with her.
The not-so-household issue was how she talks to me every time I enter the house, or the room for that matter. I didn’t want to seem unfriendly or not generous with my ear… but also, gimme a break lady. Sometimes I’m tired and I want to stand in front of the fridge and stare in peace!
The last few weeks I’ve been looking at her constant disrupting as something I created. (I do not like doing this.)
Over the next few days, all my requests were, at best, ignored and then one night I came home late… and there she was to greet me at the back door. I was tired.
I got myself ready for bed and went up to my room. About an hour and a half later, I could hear her downstairs on the phone in some spirited conversation. It was late, she was loud, I’d hit my limit.
I rolled myself out of bed, went down and asked her to lower her voice a bit. She barked back, ‘I didn’t even know you were here!’
The next day, I asked her to leave. What happened next wasn’t cute. I wasn’t cute. Or calm or put together.
I will spare you the details, because they mostly make me look super bad. But I lost my cool. Yelled a little. Maybe a lot. It all ended with this person sitting on my front porch surrounded by her belongings, slinging accusations and judgments at me.
It would be real easy to blame this woman for causing irritation in my world and to let it go without further reflection. Bye, see ya never. But in the unconscious creation of this person in my movie, there’s an opportunity to upturn my own problems, look at them squarely in the face and work on changing.
This is what the Effiji journey is about.
In Elijah’s first book, “What’s In Your Roots?”, he writes about victimization :
The concept of you being a victim implies that rather than being the creator of your life, you are under the control of some external force or forces….. What you are not seeing is the way that people’s consciousness creates the situations that occur in their lives.
I’d created this situation to see myself. To see the victim inside me. Woof.
I could see that she was the most real, external reflection of some of the ugliest parts of me that I certainly don’t want anyone to see.
Now… she said a LOT of things that I don’t think are super accurate, but she also said a lot of other things that aren’t that far off from how I talk to myself. Ugh. Blech. Barf.
Here’s the point:
There are dumb things that happen in our lives that don’t seem that spiritual or useful at the time…
BUT THEY ARE.
I don’t love this particular creation, but I see its value.
That’s why I keep breathing…and healing…and living.
If I can do this, so can you.